I was robbed. No, I was not overcharged on a purchase, nor was I the recipient of a bogus football ticket. I was literally robbed. Someone broke into my home by smashing out a window in my kitchen door, then traipsed through these 230,000 tiny pieces of glass, depositing them in every freaking room in my home, opening every door and drawer and throwing stuff around, emptying drawers of their contents into their little burglar bag(s), and then leaving the door open for me to find and begin my descent into a formidable first-of-the-season holiday meltdown.
First I called the police, then my husband, then a close friend, and thus began my personal tutorial about what really happens when something like this happens, which by the way is nothing. No fingerprinting. No dusting of the furniture. No admonition to not touch things. Just give them the list of what was stolen and they’ll be on their way. I was advised I could canvas the local pawn shops for my belongings; check out the local antique stores and Ebay, but don’t make a scene or try to recover anything I might find. If I recognize any of my “stuff” just leave the premises and call the police.
It was a seven-hour drive for my husband who arrived in a full sweat of worry. He didn’t get home until midnight. By that time I had made an accounting of what was missing and here lies the holiday surprise. Nothing. Nothing of any value was missing except for a box filled with a massive amount of sterling silver flatware which was later found to be hidden in a linen drawer. No jewelry was gone because I had read an article years before to NEVER keep your jewelry in a jewelry box. Rather keep them in small separate containers, and hide each one as far from the others as possible. Some jewelry was laying out, but obscured by perfume bottles. Their rampage in my closet had them focused to the point that they overlooked what was visible.
These little hoodlums, or a true cat burglar (which I doubt because of the sheer stupidity of the culprit) left with a few handfuls of Goodwill jewelry junk that was in an old box by my bedside table. They also emptied a drawer in my dining room, but again they got nothing of value. They got no drugs, no money, no guns, nothing but the opportunity to be found out and prosecuted by ME to the fullest extent of the law. If they catch him/them, there will be no dropping of any charges regardless of their age.
The next day was spent getting a safe deposit box big enough for all those place settings and gold jewelry which is now locked safely in another city. The contractor was here in 30 minutes to repair the windows and door. My husband and I spent hours vacuuming and mopping to try (unsuccessfully) to get every tiny shard of glass which found its way even into our furniture cushions. We bought the rod to keep the slider safe, along with some odd contraption that requires a psi higher than a normal human can produce to kick in the front door. The back door now has a two key dead bolt so that breaking more glass will not get the door open. They’ll still need another key. And of course we made the requisite trip to Best Buy for a whole house, 9 camera, monitoring system to fortify our ADT security system which will be installed tomorrow. We now live in Fort Knox with virtually nothing, and I mean nothing, in this house worth stealing.
I live in the best neighborhood in my little town. All of the major players, including the Chief of Police, are within a stone’s throw of my home. I’m on a corner lot which gives me four, count them: four, adjacent neighbors. This crime took place between 10 a.m and 2 p.m., and it was on Veteran’s Day, a day of no school. This leads the police to believe it was kids. I am not convinced.
Kids or no kids, what happened to us was right out of the a security system commercial. It was horrifying, hyperventilating, and hardly worth their effort. Kids and criminals are cognitively underdeveloped, but these crooks unknowingly took my most valuable possession with them when they left: my peace of mind.